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User blog:Are You Freddy For Ready/Everything Wrong With:The Prologue
BEFORE YOU READ: This blog is a parody of cinemasins. Everything said in here is for laughs and giggles and should not be taken seriously. If you haven’t, please read the Prologue before reading this. “None of the group of twelve travelers asked where she had gotten it from, or how it worked, for they already knew she was not allowed to answer.” :So, you’re telling me that no one from the group has asked about the watch? That’s kind of hard to believe, unless she told everyone as soon as they joined up with the group “Hey, you know this thing that you’ve most likely never seen something like before? Yeah, don’t ask about it, thanks!” *ding* :Also, why isn’t she allowed to answer? It’s not like she’ll be punished for telling anyone! *ding* “Only the cat girl who was talking to two of the humans knew how the rabbit woman messed with the timestream, and only she would ever know.” :Considering other Times and Mysteries will come after these two, that’s a lie. *ding* “The group had gotten into the habit of calling everyone by their element, and not their name.” :Why? Most of them would’ve called them by their actual names at the start, so why the sudden change to Elements? *ding* ”then pointed to the eight-foot dragon” :Lightning is not eight feet tall. *ding* ”Metal walked up to her and put the sword in her hands. What had seemed like a large blade in his grip was a much smaller one in hers.” :Metal is taller AND has bigger hands than Earth. *ding* ”She was a crucial part of the plan, and wouldn’t be needed until the very end.” :So, why not just get out of range of the battle? She’d know when the battle was reaching an end and when she would be needed, so it’s not like she had to stay and watch. *ding* ”She yelped a little in pain and pulled her tail out from under the one that just fell.” :Aren’t bunny tails just like little balls of fluff? How’d she manage to get it stuck under the rock that just fell? If she was sitting down that’d make sense, but since we’re told she hugged the other rock, which meant that she was very much standing, her tail wouldn’t be long enough to get stuck under it. *ding* ”Now all she had to do was wait, and duck her head down until the third rock would fall and seal her little pile of protective rocks closed.” :We learn later that these rocks are coming from Earth throwing them at Darkness who in turn knocks them away. The fact that they all land in the same place is bullshit. *ding* ”the lovers crawled towards each other and managed to reach out just enough to touch fingertips before losing the ability to move anymore.” :Lovers sharing one final loving moment before they die cliche *ding* :Also, how the hell did they manage to crawl to each other? Mind’s entire body was crushed and all of Death’s limbs along with her ribcage were broken. Kill pain can’t restore function to completely broken limbs, can it? *ding* ”Her ability allowed her to kill the pain of those she wished to, so she thought of all of her friends now fighting the darkness.” :So, did she kill the pain they were all feeling then? Or is she killing all pain that they will receive in the future of the battle? If the latter, then when will it end? Is it indefinite? Explanation would be nice. *ding* ”Darkness stumbled back, bringing another shield of darkness in front of herself in vain. The shield was quickly broken once again by Fire.” :Author uses a cheap timeskip to get out of having to figure out how the hell the Elementals actually overpowered Darkness. *ding* ”“What? You saying I’m not good enough to hold her down? You challenging me, Mister Head-of-air?”” :Is Fire seriously trying to start a fight while they’re in the middle of saving the world?! Come on man! *ding* ”trying to ignore the five bodies of her fallen companions.” :Of which only two were shown because love. *ding* ““Yes...” Water said in a weak voice. He was crouched over Life with his head hanging in defeat. “She was so... Kind... She didn’t deserve to die... None of them did,” he cried.” :We are supposed to be sad for the death of a character we were never introduced to til now *ding* ”“Oh, cut the theatrics. You young twats have no right to be that caught up in emotions about someone you met just a-” The woman found her mouth full of dirt.” :Darkness would be good at DS Sins *ding* ”“Quiet,” Earth commanded” :Earth only speaks in one word sentences. *ding* ”“And all of you, get out of here. The entrance is sealed, so Mystery, do your thing.”” :Yes, but they have Earth with them, so a sealed entrance shouldn’t be a problem. *ding* ”“Yes ma’am,” the cat replied with a purr. “Though, I’ve only done this a few times...”” :Mystery didn’t think to practice before heading to battle *ding* “I could,” Earth stated. “Well, alright. An hour,” Wind corrected himself, biting into the words. :They managed to seal the entrance of the cave so well that it’d take Earth an hour to dig out while Darkness was in the same cave. *ding* ”“Wait... Without Mind here to establish communication with John, how are we going to tell him that he needs to remove the ring?”” :Mind, a Mind Elemental powerful enough to link everyone’s minds together for a couple hours in his dying breath didn’t link John’s mind to everyone before the start of the battle. *ding* ”“Don’t worry, I’ve already told my brother an exact time that he needs to remove it at if there’s no link,” Time said.” :How does John know when exactly to take off the ring? Yes Time told him but he doesn’t have a way to keep and know when the time he was told is *ding* “but just as she started to turn and let go, there was a flash of light, and the six in the circle disappeared.” :Two minutes goes by fast in this universe *ding* ““No! I refuse to believe this!” the woman screamed.” :Darkness refuses to believe the person who can see the future. *ding* ““Well, she said to take it off and put it back on... But... Eh, what would that even do?” He examined it for several moments more before finally deciding to put it back on.” :Time told John to put on and take off the ring without telling him what it would do *ding* :Also, how would John have been able to put the ring on in the first place without learning that it teleports Mystery? The ring would’ve had to be taken off to be given to him and then he’d have to put it on, which would teleport Mystery to his side. *ding* ““But Sean, Hrr’Ta, Katie, Aria, and Ivan... Didn’t make it,” Fire added. :Fire uses the real names of the Elementals who died, creating confusion for the reader who only knows them by their Element names. *ding* ”“I think Tina wants you to have this, Time,” he said, choking on the implication of the words.” :Force calls John Time without knowing whether John will actually be time or not, and no, Time did not tell Force that John was the next Time, as Time herself only assumed he would be *ding* :John is given a device that only his sister and Mystery will ever know how to use according to the story *ding* ““We don’t need Time for cleanup, and there’re no evils to fight anymore.”” :That is a very large assumption to make *ding* ““Not even our families. We don’t need this power, and it would be better if the world could forget.”” :Why? We know that Darkness will return at some point, so why wouldn’t they tell people? If their plan to make the world forget had actually gone according to plan, then the world of 3000 years from now would’ve been fucked *ding* DS Sins Talley: 32 Sentence: Frozen in Time Category:Blog posts